tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8555114521624356230.post7287929036181898344..comments2009-06-05T23:53:49.708-07:00Amanda Joyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01630905497211235099noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8555114521624356230.post-40382241267620478652009-06-05T23:53:49.708-07:002009-06-05T23:53:49.708-07:00Deep in the throat<br />they laugh-<br />hungry little bodies<br />with their pointing bones<br />fastened with buttons<br />hooking eyes<br /><br />I like this a lot, referring to the boy and girl. the detail of the &quot;buttons hooking eyes&quot; reminds me of those dolls with button eyes, the squeamish image of eye injuries but really it is referring to the clothes they are wearing. <br /><br />In her parents’ bed<br />Red mouth agape<br /><br />reminds me of your fish poem, agape, <br /><br />your grisly visceral imagery suggest several not entirely unrelated trains of thoughts that mingle and chase provokingly. i like this poem a lotElevator Legendshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13606003931829345361noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8555114521624356230.post-9384204184887373002009-02-05T20:06:00.000-08:002009-02-05T20:06:00.000-08:00I think the first two lines could go. I love the detail of "in her parents' bed," and the ending is superb.Gabriel Gadflyhttp://gabrielgadfly.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8555114521624356230.post-26068561997919502402008-12-12T20:41:00.000-08:002008-12-12T20:41:00.000-08:00i find a wonderful delicate hope in this. thankyou xtania lamondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17610307053905475097noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8555114521624356230.post-47104183781791916702008-11-24T15:42:00.000-08:002008-11-24T15:42:00.000-08:00I do like the way this ends, slight off centre.<BR/>Nicely penned.Jannettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13659603837343456631noreply@blogger.com